Why You Must

One of the tragic side-effects of the modern women's movement is the loss of a man's role as father to his children. In the days before the women's movement became such a powerful staple of our society, by this I mean the incorporation of women into the greater workforce and their migration out of the home and into the office, men and women had more classically defined roles. Women were viewed by the majority of society as homemakers, helpers to their husbands, and nurturers of their families. The idea of a married woman with children working away from home was as rare in the mainstream as the idea of divorce or having a 'domestic partner' instead of a heterosexual spouse. Clearly defined roles of men and women in the family are not something new, and over the course of human history it has largely remained the same. Only in the 20th century have we began to tamper with this formula.

Under the influence of the feminist movement, women left the home to pursue careers because they were told they were missing out on the "fulfilment" men were experiencing in supposedly bettering themselves by becoming educated, having careers, and developing a worldly reputation through decades of labor. All forms of equality were pushed upon women, as if being 'equal' in all things was a noble idea to begin with. Work and career were seen as an equalizer by women who believed that being the one who stayed home with the children was a bad thing, leading many to come to believe that even HAVING children was a bad thing! (See pro-abortion/pro-choice movement.) As if men and women being judged on the basis of the money they make or the job that they hold made sense to begin with! Much of the growth in disdain by woman for being housewives was sadly the fault of men, husbands who left thier wives lonely or unappreciated in the pursuit of career or other non-family activities themselves.

Side Note:
Men have always known that leaving the home to work is not fun, rarely fulfilling, and is more necessity than desire. The Bible records in the book of Genesis that man would have to work hard to eek out a living from the earth, and that it was nothing that was admirable. It was punishment and a result of Adam's sin that God made a requirement! To make work outside the home something to be sought out as a form of gender equality is a lie on the most basic level. How many people, men or women do you know who love their jobs to the degree that they'd like to do nothing else if they had the chance or didn't have to work to make a living?!

Women were emboldened to reject long-held beliefs in motherhood as a noble and worth while life work. The worship of the body (idolizing our own looks and youthfulness) became more mainstream as the industrial revolution allowed more and more people's economic and social status to improve. Women began seeing pregnancy as a side-effect of sex, and then a 'choice' about their own bodies instead of a divinely given role as the source of children. The destruction of the women's role in society can and should be seen as one of the greatest acts that Satan has used to tamper with and destroy God's design for man.

God did not design men and women to function in the way modern society has allowed human life to exist today, and as a result we have paid the price in divorce rates, abortion, crime, drug abuse, and the general decline in the state of our country and the world. All this is of course the result of sin and Satan's influence, but to clearly understand the process that has allowed things to get this way is vital to our Christian life. Seeing the world through the filter of God's Word and His design provides we as believers a plan that we can follow to confront the false world system and provide a testimony to others. This is vital for women as they struggle to live Godly lives, but it is even more so for we as men as we struggle to understand the women we love and the ways in which they think and act. We owe it to ourselves and they to know the truth and be prepared to provide an answer. We must know how to be men, and there is only one way to do this.

Know the Word of God. We must study it's precepts. We have to know what God wants us to know. And only through knowing the source of God's revelation about Himself and us, will we understand our own natures and therefore our roles. Men were intended to be dads. We were intended to be allowed with the support of our wives, our helpers, to provide guidance for our children. We must spend time with them, nurture them, and provide the security they need in a godly example of a father, husband, and spiritual leader. When we are always at work and then our wives are always at work, we cannot do any of these things effectively. When our children are always in Daycare or parked in front of the television, we can not do these things effectively. When we lack the time or the resolve to simply share an evening meal at the dinner table with out families, we cannot do these things effectively. When women make the home and our children their priority, God honors their service and devotion to that. Even if it means feeling the negative effects of going against the grain of society. Family is preserved, love and sanity is fostered, and children flourish. We as fathers and husbands are given the security of a home to 'come home to,' and the work we must endure becomes bearable. Giving us the mind, the time and the energy to BE dads.

Men, if your wives would rather be home to care for your children, allow this to happen if you can. Even if this means sacrifice. If you can't sacrifice because you've no way to do so financially now, work toward that goal and make it happen. See if she can work part-time instead of full. Go without your extra 'stuff,' your hobbies or your unnecessary expenses, for the mental and emotional sake of your wives and children. If your wives want a career and would rather be away from your home to pursue their own agendas, lead them to faithfulness in a loving way through the communication of the Word of God to them, the only source capable of transforming your heart and that of your spouse. Allow the Lord to convict their hearts. And lastly, if you are a father, be a dad to your child. Spend the time and make the effort to give them yourself and your best, even when it's hard or exhausting to do so. You will reap the benefits in the character of your children.

The Hard Truth is that you must be a dad and your wife must be a mom and a helper in the home if you are to achieve the happiness you truly desire. And not ease, but fulfillment. And as the God designed leader of your household, it's your responsibility. God honors the faithful father and husband.

It's really, really hard. But it's worth every ounce of energy you can muster.